Author(s): Aurum Press

Gifts & Humour

Few things exercise the mind of a Telegraph reader more than the misuse and abuse of the English language. Indeed, so ever vigilant for crimes of grammar, spelling and punctuation is this redoubtable breed that it is never off duty, keeping a beady eye peeled for linguistic lapses wherever it travels. The fruits of these efforts make for disturbing viewing: menus exhorting diners to sample the delights of 'Lavander Frog Porridge', 'Roast Bowel' or the metaphysically curious 'Evil Water'; retailers happy to trade under names such as 'Chiap Tatt Enterprise' and 'Chancy Investments'; or the optician who didn't blink at the prospect of calling himself the 'Wong Eye Specialist'. Whether garbled by online translators or run over rough-shod by Britons who really should know better, our mother tongue is truly in a parlous condition. Thankfully the Telegraph and its readers are on hand to expose these misdemeanours to the cleansing power of ridicule, publishing the most egregious and amusing examples in the weekly article Sign Language. In this book, to aid in their valiant cause, we present the very best sightings from the year gone by.